WHATS
LOVE GOT TO DO WITH NAMES?
By Mia Miller
Currently I am living out my call from God to be in hospital Chaplaincy in Indianapolis, IN. It is a blessing to work with interfaith ministry because the people that I encounter each day have different backgrounds, faiths, and values. In the midst of this ever-changing community, some things that I can trust to be constant are my own heritage, beliefs, and visions. I have been nurtured in the Church of the Brethren since my birth…I have learned that God calls us to love all people, to witness to peace, and to speak out for justice. That solid foundation and grace from God enables me to be in ministry.
In the midst of loving my work, there is one aspect of initial visits with patients that I dread. It is a situation that repeats itself time and time again…a situation that puts a painful sting deep within me. Earlier this spring, I entered a room on the Organ Transplant unit. I greeted Mr. Peck, a middle aged white man brought to the hospital due to complications from his kidney transplant. Our visit began as I introduced myself as hospital chaplain. Mr. Peck smiled from his bed and said, "So, what is your denomination?" I took an inward sigh and explained to him that Chaplaincy in the hospital is an interfaith ministry. He said, "oh yeah, but what is your denomination?" At that, I said, "I belong to the Church of the Brethren." He quickly responded with a furrow in his brow, "I didn't think that they had women in that church." The sting that I mentioned a moment ago gouged deep. I said, "There are women in the church." Still puzzled, and yet with certainty, he said, "Well they don't let you be pastors, do they?"
While this particular illustration is carved in my memory, it is not a unique experience. Time and time again, I meet people who understand or perceive that the Church of the Brethren is a religious organization of men. As I have talked to other women within the church about their experiences with our name, I have heard horrid stories about women being teased, mocked and diminished because we claim ourselves to belong to a church that calls itself with a name that implies, "men." In fact, Webster's College Dictionary defines the term "brethren" as brothers, or a religious organization of men. Then it says it is an archaic word for brothers. Should we be surprised the when people say, "I didn't think women could belong to that church."
I can appreciate the good intentions or the spirit of the word, "brethren," but no matter what we hope this word to mean, it is still an exclusive word and name. Church members who do not support a name change tell me that within the church, we are supposed to understand brethren to mean both men and women, sisters and brothers. They try to convince me that our shared history is what is important, not the literal meaning of the name that we call ourselves. Again, I hear the good intentions. There are men and women working together to bring justice in the church. But, without changing the name of the church, the message given to women is that the church's desire for justice only goes so far. The message being given is "the church appreciates the work you do, but the church cannot and will not risk its identity so that women can feel included." That sting cuts deep.
If we value the gifts of women in the church and recognize women as equal partners in ministry, we will acknowledge that the name "brethren" literally refers to men. Sisterhood within the church is an implicit understanding. Implicit meaning that women are an unnamed or undeclared part of the Church--especially in regards to the name of our denomination. So I ask, what does love have to do with a name? Love means creating space for dialogue. It means sitting down together with open hearts to hear one another's experiences of the name Church of the Brethren. Love means sisters joining arms with one another and declaring ourselves to be vital members of the denomination…deserving to be heard and recognized in a name. Love means brothers and sisters in solidarity saying you are worth more than implicit understanding, we need a name that reflects all of us. Until we act on our love, the message given to women from the church us that women are subordinate to men and that the church is content with a name that only implies our membership--or a name that is only understood from inside the denomination.
This struggle for inclusive language is not new. Women have been told for years that the word "man" or pronouns such as "he and his" are supposed to apply to women, as well. I stand before you refusing to be implicitly included in the word, man. I am a woman, and collectively, we are human. My experience does not replicate with the experience of men and I say to you that it is not good enough for the church or anyone to use masculine terminology and expect me to translate it in my head. Our shared language has words that describe both women and men. We do not need to share the masculine ones. At the risk of sounding sarcastic, I choose to name the reality that few men find it acceptable to be described by the words, "woman, she, or sister." Why are women expected to accept masculine terminology to describe them?
The name "Church of the Brethren" is exclusive in another way apart from gender. Since the word is no longer in our vernacular or common every day speech, it sounds old or aged to me. When I look around the church on Sunday morning, I see children. We see children at annual conference providing us with energy for today and tomorrow. Apart from the implicit meaning that we put onto them, I do not think that the name, "brethren" describes the younger ones anymore than it describes the women. I wonder if they know what the word means, separate from the fact that it is one of the words on the sign in front of their church. My point here is that the name, "brethren" is out of date and it is exclusive to children and women. It does not reflect who we are. We are women, children and men.
We have had a number of names throughout our history of almost 300 years. As I look back on those names, they reflected who we were and what we did. For example, we were the Dunkers because we dunked. We were the German Baptists because we were the Germans who baptized. For almost 100 years, we have been called the Church of the Brethren, but we are not a church consisting of all brothers. In fact, we have never been. I think that the early church was on to something…they had names that truly represented their community.
Many people within the church are calling for justice regarding our name. Our concern is not new or whimsical. Specific questions about the term "brethren" were raised in 1973. I suspect that there were murmurs of questions and concerns long before that. The 300th birthday of the church is coming in 2008. Justice would be a worthy gift to the church. How long will some in the church try to pacify those excluded with the explanation that brethren is meant to include both women and men. That is not justice. Martin Luther Kind Jr. said, "Justice too long delayed is justice denied." We are called to act on our love and advocate for a name that truly represents the church.
Sisters and brothers, love is the energy that brings us together this day. Within the church, we are called to love one another, provide support and encouragement along the journey, and to seek the spirit of God in our midst. I believe that we are called to dialogue with one another--sharing with each other the places in our journey that cause us pain and celebrating together those places of joy.
As I look at the group gathered here today, I see many that have lived this struggle of feeling excluded for years. You have been a voice speaking the convictions of your heart. I see others who have shared with me their discomfort with a name change but they are here because they believe that there is much work to do around women's issues in the church. What is important is that we sit together in this room sharing our visions. Advocating for justice requires energy and friends who offer us a cold cup of water for refreshment. We must not settle for being implicit members of the church. God has called each of us by name. Let us claim our value and unite our voices. The church is women, children, and men together. We need a name representing us all.
By Mia Miller
Currently I am living out my call from God to be in hospital Chaplaincy in Indianapolis, IN. It is a blessing to work with interfaith ministry because the people that I encounter each day have different backgrounds, faiths, and values. In the midst of this ever-changing community, some things that I can trust to be constant are my own heritage, beliefs, and visions. I have been nurtured in the Church of the Brethren since my birth…I have learned that God calls us to love all people, to witness to peace, and to speak out for justice. That solid foundation and grace from God enables me to be in ministry.
In the midst of loving my work, there is one aspect of initial visits with patients that I dread. It is a situation that repeats itself time and time again…a situation that puts a painful sting deep within me. Earlier this spring, I entered a room on the Organ Transplant unit. I greeted Mr. Peck, a middle aged white man brought to the hospital due to complications from his kidney transplant. Our visit began as I introduced myself as hospital chaplain. Mr. Peck smiled from his bed and said, "So, what is your denomination?" I took an inward sigh and explained to him that Chaplaincy in the hospital is an interfaith ministry. He said, "oh yeah, but what is your denomination?" At that, I said, "I belong to the Church of the Brethren." He quickly responded with a furrow in his brow, "I didn't think that they had women in that church." The sting that I mentioned a moment ago gouged deep. I said, "There are women in the church." Still puzzled, and yet with certainty, he said, "Well they don't let you be pastors, do they?"
While this particular illustration is carved in my memory, it is not a unique experience. Time and time again, I meet people who understand or perceive that the Church of the Brethren is a religious organization of men. As I have talked to other women within the church about their experiences with our name, I have heard horrid stories about women being teased, mocked and diminished because we claim ourselves to belong to a church that calls itself with a name that implies, "men." In fact, Webster's College Dictionary defines the term "brethren" as brothers, or a religious organization of men. Then it says it is an archaic word for brothers. Should we be surprised the when people say, "I didn't think women could belong to that church."
I can appreciate the good intentions or the spirit of the word, "brethren," but no matter what we hope this word to mean, it is still an exclusive word and name. Church members who do not support a name change tell me that within the church, we are supposed to understand brethren to mean both men and women, sisters and brothers. They try to convince me that our shared history is what is important, not the literal meaning of the name that we call ourselves. Again, I hear the good intentions. There are men and women working together to bring justice in the church. But, without changing the name of the church, the message given to women is that the church's desire for justice only goes so far. The message being given is "the church appreciates the work you do, but the church cannot and will not risk its identity so that women can feel included." That sting cuts deep.
If we value the gifts of women in the church and recognize women as equal partners in ministry, we will acknowledge that the name "brethren" literally refers to men. Sisterhood within the church is an implicit understanding. Implicit meaning that women are an unnamed or undeclared part of the Church--especially in regards to the name of our denomination. So I ask, what does love have to do with a name? Love means creating space for dialogue. It means sitting down together with open hearts to hear one another's experiences of the name Church of the Brethren. Love means sisters joining arms with one another and declaring ourselves to be vital members of the denomination…deserving to be heard and recognized in a name. Love means brothers and sisters in solidarity saying you are worth more than implicit understanding, we need a name that reflects all of us. Until we act on our love, the message given to women from the church us that women are subordinate to men and that the church is content with a name that only implies our membership--or a name that is only understood from inside the denomination.
This struggle for inclusive language is not new. Women have been told for years that the word "man" or pronouns such as "he and his" are supposed to apply to women, as well. I stand before you refusing to be implicitly included in the word, man. I am a woman, and collectively, we are human. My experience does not replicate with the experience of men and I say to you that it is not good enough for the church or anyone to use masculine terminology and expect me to translate it in my head. Our shared language has words that describe both women and men. We do not need to share the masculine ones. At the risk of sounding sarcastic, I choose to name the reality that few men find it acceptable to be described by the words, "woman, she, or sister." Why are women expected to accept masculine terminology to describe them?
The name "Church of the Brethren" is exclusive in another way apart from gender. Since the word is no longer in our vernacular or common every day speech, it sounds old or aged to me. When I look around the church on Sunday morning, I see children. We see children at annual conference providing us with energy for today and tomorrow. Apart from the implicit meaning that we put onto them, I do not think that the name, "brethren" describes the younger ones anymore than it describes the women. I wonder if they know what the word means, separate from the fact that it is one of the words on the sign in front of their church. My point here is that the name, "brethren" is out of date and it is exclusive to children and women. It does not reflect who we are. We are women, children and men.
We have had a number of names throughout our history of almost 300 years. As I look back on those names, they reflected who we were and what we did. For example, we were the Dunkers because we dunked. We were the German Baptists because we were the Germans who baptized. For almost 100 years, we have been called the Church of the Brethren, but we are not a church consisting of all brothers. In fact, we have never been. I think that the early church was on to something…they had names that truly represented their community.
Many people within the church are calling for justice regarding our name. Our concern is not new or whimsical. Specific questions about the term "brethren" were raised in 1973. I suspect that there were murmurs of questions and concerns long before that. The 300th birthday of the church is coming in 2008. Justice would be a worthy gift to the church. How long will some in the church try to pacify those excluded with the explanation that brethren is meant to include both women and men. That is not justice. Martin Luther Kind Jr. said, "Justice too long delayed is justice denied." We are called to act on our love and advocate for a name that truly represents the church.
Sisters and brothers, love is the energy that brings us together this day. Within the church, we are called to love one another, provide support and encouragement along the journey, and to seek the spirit of God in our midst. I believe that we are called to dialogue with one another--sharing with each other the places in our journey that cause us pain and celebrating together those places of joy.
As I look at the group gathered here today, I see many that have lived this struggle of feeling excluded for years. You have been a voice speaking the convictions of your heart. I see others who have shared with me their discomfort with a name change but they are here because they believe that there is much work to do around women's issues in the church. What is important is that we sit together in this room sharing our visions. Advocating for justice requires energy and friends who offer us a cold cup of water for refreshment. We must not settle for being implicit members of the church. God has called each of us by name. Let us claim our value and unite our voices. The church is women, children, and men together. We need a name representing us all.
Name Resources
History & Polity
Speeches & Reflections
Joining the Conversation
History & Polity
- History of our Name
- Historical Timeline (pdf)
- Historical Quotes
- Names in the Bible
- Name Change Polity (pdf)
Speeches & Reflections
Joining the Conversation